Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
