can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
