in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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