just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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