about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
