when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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