No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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