if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
