Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
