D3 body, D1 cock
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
