You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
