Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize