Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
