She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
