Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
