I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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