just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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