I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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