Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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