you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
