i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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