he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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