She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
