My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
