I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
