unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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