Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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