Cold hands, warm shart.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
