But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
