what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
