Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
