My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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