Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
