I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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