Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
