I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
