New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
