Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
