I have demons in me.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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