I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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