I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
