Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
