And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
