alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize