Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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