When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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