I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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