I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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