YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
