And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
