Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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