Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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